More has happened in the last 48 hours than I could have ever anticipated; Mississippi has successfully created an unforgettable earmark in the Ride for me.
As we approached the school Thursday morning I was still recovering from the 8 hour drive a small group of us Equality Riders had made the night before from Waco, TX, reuniting those who had sat in jail for 25 hours after our Baylor University civil disobedience, with the rest of our group. With so much tension already created by the duplicity of the (MC) Mississippi College administration towards our MC organizers, I was already unsure of what to expect alongside the various threats on our physical safety delivered to the Clinton law enforcement.
When we pulled up into Mississippi College's campus, I heard murmurs from our group and looked to the window. There was a steady stream of people lining the streets as we drove up to our stop and more standing on a grassy hill across from where we were exiting the bus, larger than we'd ever experienced at our previous stops. I had spoken several days before to Stephen about participating in the civil disobedience and I knew that it was only at this point in the ride that I was fully mentally prepared to do so. We left the bus and were immediately read a statement of warning that if we stepped onto MC property we would be guilty of trespassing and immediately arrested. In response we held hands as a group and walked towards the hill of students, media, and police to stand on the sidewalk in front of them and begin our vigil.
After singing several songs, in what seemed like an eerie concert surrounded by watching eyes, Enku begin to speak to the masses. He described his background and why he was a part of the ride. He continued to speak to the injustice and cruelty of policies that MC has against gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered individuals on campus and how that affects the entire community's perception of these students as well. Eventually, he and Vince Pancucci held up a large frame surrounding photographed smiling faces of the East Bus Equality riders when we were children, he pointed out individual riders, naming them for the crowd and stated that he and Vince intended to bring this picture of God's beloved children to the foot of the statue of Jesus on campus. They took several steps forward and were immediately arrested in front of the crowd. Katie and I followed, walking to students. Earlier, while Enku was speaking, I had heard a male student in front of me speaking loudly to his friend of his views on homosexuality. He was rehearsing verses and arguments that he held against our position, and most likely against us being at the school in general. So after the initial arrests I walked directly towards him, extended my hand and introduced myself, seeking to draw him in, in a way he didn't anticipate. Of all people in that crowd, i wanted to speak with him. As the policemen placed handcuffs on my wrists I stood in front of him hearing his statements of love for "homosexuals" and true hopes for me to find the right path. Before I was led away, all I could manage to say to him was that I believe I am on the right path.
Vince, Enku, Katie and I were taken away to be booked at the police department after being led through a siege of reporters. Kyle would follow a little later, and after our release, other riders would describe the shock that students expressed regarding our arrests, all made as a result of our intent to engage in conversation with students.
We were booked quickly and politely, all of the police officers extending kindnesses to us that were the exact reversal of what the riders in Waco, TX had experienced. For this I was grateful but conflicted that I would be the one to receive such treatment while my friends endured huge trespasses and lack of recognition of their humanity (a great ailment of the prision system in general, however i will keep that topic for later time).
Katie and I were in a cell together, next to that of the male riders arrested, and we remained there for eight hours, delayed until 5pm from 1pm when we had initally anticipated seeing the judge.
As our time before the judge approached, we were notified that we must instead have a trial instead of a simple ruling on our bail amount. A police officer gathered us and brought us to the court where we filed into the courtroom only to be escorted out urgently by our court-assigned lawyer and a local lawyer who is an open lesbian in the community.
With great seriousness they outlined the dire changes that had occurred in the last hour, our lawyer had spoken to the judge and realized his intentions in our case- intentions to act as the hand of the law to increase our consequences-especially as second time offenders, and to disable our ride in what way he could. They informed us minutes before we were to stand before the judge that he had every intention of giving us jail time--the maximum penalty for criminal trespassing could be up to 6 months. I was unable to process the magnitude of these words very well, and as they barreled on, we were informed that our best option would be to plead guilty (which had been our intent) and to profusely apologize to the court for our inconvenience to the city of Clinton. This we could agree on, because as a non-violent group we recognize our adversary is not the law enforcers nor the administrators but the ignorance and misinformation that perpetuates the policies and beliefs that oppress people. Katie agreed to be a voice for the five of us and we entered the courtroom, my heart in my throat, banging against my rib cage.
I had been in courtrooms several times before, but this vague concept of jail time had never held any power over me, until now. As the hearing proceeded I began to count on my fingers how long it would be until I was out of jail, if I received the maximum time, "March to April, April to May, May to June, June to July, July to August, August to...September." I would be out in September. I imagined writing letters from jail to my friends and family, I wondered if Casey would think to call my Mom and Dad to let them know, or if I would have to call them on the house phone. In those few moments, I thought of Gandhi, and King, and Mel White, and became reconciled to the possibility that I may go to jail in a few minutes, and I would be ok. The judges questioning did not help my attempt to feel as though we would escape without great legal injury as he continually emphasized a metaphor of legal discipline, "When a child refuses to learn from a punishment the first time, do you not increase the consequences?"
Enku and Kyle were sentenced with 10 days of jail, suspended granted they stay out of trouble for the next 2 years.
Katie, Vince, and I had prior trespassing charges and were sentenced with 20 days in jail, suspended granted we stay out of trouble for the next 2 years plus 4 days (weekdays) of community service here in Clinton, Mississippi. If any of these provisions are broken a warrant for our arrest will be issued in the state of Mississippi. After this information was shared with us, we were released from jail.
After having processed the last 8 hours with Curt and Abby for a few minutes to the side, we headed back to find the group and get back the bus. As we searched, all of us unfamiliar with the area, we finally came to where the bus was only to see it being directed away from us by a patrol car with flashing lights. In all the bus was pulled over three times within 5 minutes as we were leaving Clinton, concluding with a grand finale of the policemen iterating something to the effect of "get out of our town, now." That is all I need to hear to know we're exactly where we're supposed to be.
In summation, at the end of our second day in Jackson I don't know what emotions I am feeling. They are foreign and heavy and real. I do not know if I am afraid, but I cannot help be feel the growing momentum as a signal that this is only the beginning. As Robin said in our meeting later that night, "it’s only going to get worse".
And so I am searching for the strong moveless places and for pieces of peace in myself, in my faith. They are the reasons that I am here in the first place, and I realize as circumstances intensify, that when I signed up for this ride I was stating that I was giving my complete commitment. And I have become increasingly assured in our cause as I grow and am deeply moved in solemn quiet places of myself. I know I was ready to go to jail for six months for this cause and this is what I'll remember as we continue on the ride.
Today, our second day in Jackson, was my first day of community service. There was a lot of talk about our safety, because we didn't know anything about the nature of the work or people we'd be with, but it was an amazing surprise. We worked with the Clinton Parks and Recreation facility management and met great people who spoke with us, worked beside us, and stood up for us throughout the day. Clinton has great potential to continue slow change in its deepest parts and it gives me great hope.
Katie, Vince, and I will be remaining behind the group here in Clinton, Mississippi from Monday until Wednesday this next week, while we complete our community service hours. It is a struggle to know we will be doing fine and recuperating here while the rest of our group goes on to stops without us. I'm torn from my happiness about the beauty of our situation and opportunities while we stay in Clinton and my inability to support the rest of our Bus family during another hard stop.
Mississippi. Mississippi. Mississippi.
